Living with Big Daddy Chapter 17

Thrax sighed and sat on his bed,"Man...this will be a long day..." he looked over and saw that flu guy left his wallet. He just rolled his eyes. Flashback of the nigh before flashed through his head, every kiss, lick, bite, scratch, and groan. "Well it's an upside, if I can score dudes AND chicks it's like an ultimate win!" He tried to make himself feel better, but it was no use. There was one thing left he had in mind. "Might as well" he murmured. He walked over to his night stand and took out a little brown box.  He studied it wondering if he should do it or not. "Well..no shame in it now." He proceeded to take out a little piece of paper and a little baggie. He opened it and emptied some endorphins from it onto the piece of paper. He glanced at the door to make sure Ozzy wasnt coming in anytime soon.  With that he licked it and rolled it up. He never really had lighters on hand so he used his claw to light it and took a looong drag. "Smooth" He squeaked out as it burned a little in his chest. He coughed and sputtered, "Its been a while." He proceeded to take a another hit.  
"That dip wad wants cereal? He aint gettin no milk, I aint his maid." Ozzy said bringing a bowl of cereal to Thraxs room. He saw smoke coming from under the door and kicked it down, "Whats going on in-!" He started, "Oh my goooooooosh" Ozzy coughed at the stench wafting through the room."What are you doing in here!" Thrax turned to him, his eyes glazed over, "Well hiiiiiiiiii baby." He grinned. "Thrax?" Thrax got up and started for him. "You're smoking? ENDORPHINES! YOU KNOW THATS ILLEGAL?! If they smell it on me at work Ill get fired on the spot!" Ozzy screamed. "Ohh baby you just gotta relaaaaaax." Thrax cooed blowing smoke in his face. Ozzy had a little coughing fit, "Frank thats awful, you're smelling up the joint man!" "How about you light one and chiiiillll- Oh you brought me cereaaaaaaaaaalll, but..wheres the milk?" The virus asked digging in anyway. "I was going to tell you to get it, but i dont need you tracking that all over the house!"
Meanwhile in the real world. "Man, why am I stuck at this dead end job picking up animal poo. I dont like this, I wanna go home." Frank complained. "Whats up your butt man? You like this job." Bob asked. "Im not sure, it's like someone just dragged all the energy out of me."
Back inside, "You better put that out, Frank needs those!" Ozzy ordered. "Ohhhhh come ooooon, a cigarette here and there wont hurt nothing baby" Thrax said trying to get him to play along. "Thats not a cigarette! I dont even know what a cigarette is! But what i do know is, is thats the equivalent to WEED on the outside world!" "Oh baby your too tiiiiiiight, relax.." He laid on the bed smiling. Ozzy rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Yea, IM tight, i wouldnt throw that word around after your late night  rompin" He said crossing his arms. "You know..this is my favorite ceiling." Thrax admired. "What? Let me see." Ozzy laid on the bed with him, and his vision started to split, "Ohhhh I see it now..yea its got the membranes and the RNAs.." Thrax handed him the joint. "Oh no thank you, you forget I'm a cop." Ozzy declined. "Ohhh it wont hurt anything baby" Thrax said egging him on. "Havent your mom said say no to drugs?" "It isnt a drug, its a peace maker." "Its a druuuuuuuuug" Thrax rolled his eyes, "Come on Officer, we're all friends here." "Well.." Ozzy started, taking it from his claws, "one hit couldnt hurt." He started to inhale, "Nice..."Ozzy said as his eyes watered and his chest started to burn. Thrax just laughed at him, "You're doing it wrooong" He took it from him, inhaling about half of it in one go. "Oh..hey..why is your hair purple? Is it naturally that way?" Ozzy asked observing his dreadlocks. "Theyre violet, and yea I think so." Thrax looked over his hand and got startled, "Hey, whats with my hand!" Ozzy sat up, "What about it?" "Its like..huge." "Its cause you're holding it close to your face dimwit." Thrax just laughed. "Im hungry, pass the cereal" Ozzy said reaching for the bowl. "But I want the cereal." "But I want the cereal." Thrax thought for a second. "Cant we share it?" "Man..thats the best idea Ive heard all day." Ozzy grinned reaching for the bowl again. Thrax started sniffling. "Yo, you ok?" Ozzy asked kind of concerned. "Im fine..just hurts." Thrax chocked out.  "What?" "My ear hurts." Ozzys expression flattened, "Your ear hurts." "Yes.. it hurts real bad, see?" Thrax said holding out his arm. "Thats your arm, not your ear. Im not even sure you if you even HAVE ears." "I KNOW WHAT MY HAIR IS AND IS NOT! Now look at it! See..." Ozzy rolled his eyes and looked at his arm, "Man you're seriously messed up." "No no I'm fine" The virus said reaching for the ashtray. "No no give it to me," Ozzy swiped it from his hands, "If anything that flu virus gu should have it." Thrax's eyes widened, "What?" "Dont play coy, you had him limping on out of here." Ozzy nudged his arm. "Oh..sorry" Thrax mumbled looking down. "Dont say sorry to me, I didnt sleep with you!" "Oh hushies" Thrax said shoving cereal into his mouth.

"Why is everything so hard?" He continued. Ozzy took the bowl and munched on some himself, " What do you mean?" "Its hard being a virus, being ridiculed, and demonized everywhere you go, for something you cant really control." "I thought you liked that." "Well, yea. I like being bad. It just gets too much sometimes." Ozzy looked away trying to avoid getting to intamate with him and just shoveled a bunch of cereal into his mouth, "Oh." "In all honestly, I love seeing people in pain..and causing it." "Gee I havent noticed," Ozzy said not really listening. "I was actually bred to have little to no emotions..you know. Like a girl. But it kind of backfired. Sure I hardly have any now but..you know." "Yea, I dig" Ozzy said absently, scratching the side of his cheek, gagging a little.  Thrax glanced at him, "For one I dont have a gag reflex" Ozzy shot him a look. "Im a virus, Ive done worse. You ever thought of growing your hair out?" "What? No!" Thrax grabbed him by the hair, "Scooch over" He started fiddling with it. "Your hair is practically see through!" "Its my membrane genius" Ozzy grunted, "What are you doing?" "Giving you a rat tail." "A WHAT!" Ozzy wailed trying to turn his head aroud to see. Thrax reached over Ozzys head to keep it still. "Woa, I didnt know you had a tattoo." "2 actually." "What does it mean? Its in like..Chinese..German..Texas." Thrax chuckled, "Chinese German Texas?" "I dont know! I just started throwing outside things together!" "Its just spanish for Death." "Death?" "Yep, you must forget who I am baby." Thrax rolled over onto his stomach, "This is..my favorite pillow." He mumbled face first into it. "Just think if Rose saw us like this, she'd flip her wig!"  Ozzy said leaning against the headboard, fingering his little rat tail. "Yea, she didnt really like it when I got high the last time." "You do it regularly?" "No, just when I need it. Or in this case, to forget." "I see. Where do you get it?" "Same place I get to the hypothalamus, in the brain. Thats one reason I dont smoke often. Its limited seeing as they wont even let me say the word brain before they put me in cuffs." "Then whats Tar?" "Tar is second hand smoke from Bob, he's always smoking around Frank. Cigars though. Kinda worse than endorphins. Hey...I got am idea." "What is it?" "Come wit me." Thrax said motioning to him to get up.

"Seeing as it wasnt exactly a fair fight, you know, on an eyeball, in a hospital, my hand getting stuck in the girls eyelash, I suggest we finish it." "No way man you'll slaughter me!" "I cant burn you can I?" "You can still stab me!"  "Fine, I wont stab you..much. Aight lets go." Thrax said as he took off his wife beater. "You take your shirt off to fight?" "Yea, dont you? Dont want saline on my shirt." "Good point" the cell slipped off his lil night shirt. "Alright..One.." Thrax got in his fighting stands. "Whats Chinese German Texas for 2?" Ozzy asked dumbly. "THREE!" Thrax threw a punch towards his face. "You sneaky bitch!" They ran at each other ready to rip each other apart. "WAIT!" Ozzy halted taking a puff of the majority gone blunt. He passed it to Thrax coughing. "You ok?" The virus asked. "Yep." Ozzy said patting his chest. "Alright." "AHHHH!" They commenced running at each other. "Who's the big germinator now!" Thrax said tackling the little cell. Ozzy just whined and shrieked for him to get off him. "Woa, woa wait a minute...look at your socks." Thrax commented. "My socks?" Ozzy said looking down at thm wondering what was so fascinating. "Yea look at them..its like...theyre calling me." He took off the others sock, "Shhh, Im here. Dont worry." Thrax whispered to it. "The Frank?" Ozzy gave him a look. "HEY! watch your language around the sock..he's sensitive" "Its a SOCK." "He's my sock." "No, hes MY sock" Ozzy said snatching it from him, putting it on his foot. "See? MINE." Thrax snatched it back and put it on his foot but rips it, "Oh..my bad." There was a knock on the door that sent Thrax jumping behind the couch, "DONT LET IT GET ME, ITS THE COPS MAN, ITS THE COPS." "Relax man,"Ozzy went to answer the door and saw it was Rose.

"Hey i was just-Woa..why are your eyes all red..and cereal crumbs all over your face?" Rose asked looking over both of them. "Oh, you know a party in my tummy" Ozzy laughed blowing smoke it her face. "ACK! What are yall doing in here?" Rose said waving him away from her. "Umm.."He looked back at Thrax. He was flailing his arms from behind the couch mouthing, "IM NOT HERE, PROTECT THE SOCK." "Just chillin." Ozzy sighed. "Well, here's some reports on the cramps." Rose handed him the files. "Ew why would I wanna know that? You arent pregnant are you?" "What? NO! Look i- whats that rank smell?" She peeked inside and saw Thrax on the floor laying his face on Ozzys sock, "What in all that is mighty is going on there?" "Oh you just cant keep a secret can you? Now shell find out about the sock" Thrax folded his arms and pouted. "Why does the place look like a bomb went off? And why do you have a rat tail in the back of your head?" Rose pointed to the little ponytail Ozzy had. "If you must know, we're stamp collecting." Thrax said smugly.  Rose put her hands on her hips, "Right...stamp collecting" Sje walked over to Thrax and looked at his face, "Ugh Thrax whats wrong with you, i mean look at ya! Your eyes are this..nasty..puke..fart green! *touches his shoulder and gets endorphin residue on her* What the? Thrax are yall smoking?" Ozzy slid down the door frame inhaling the last of the joint, "Guilty baby" "Heeeyy why do you get the last of it?" "Cause you took my sock!" Ozzy shouted back. "Im the one who gave you the joint in the first place, so I should get it." Thrax shot back. "Wait wait..I got an idea...you get one end and I get the other." "Ew I dont want the part with your spit all over it! Besides you cant smoke it backwards." "Oh really?" Thrax glanced at the blunt then back at Ozzy, "What side did you want again?" "Here I dont want it, I think Ill just go mae sweet tender love babies with that girl!" Ozzy said pointing at Rose. "Oh uh uh! Not in here you aint!" She sassed. Thrax finished what was left, and became a little light headed, "Woo boy...think I gotta...gotta lay down." He passed out and fell on top of Ozzy. The cell got the wind knocked out of him, and passed out as well. Rose just stared at them, "What are these men gonna do without me.." She left the files on the table and left, "I think Ill wait until they come down. I dont need that stinking up my car anyway."


Ozzy opened his eyes hours later, "Ugh my head... What? EW GET OFFA ME!" He pushed Thrax onto his side. Thrax rubbed his eyes, "What are you doing?" "Me? You were on top of ME! Oh gosh, first the flu guy, now me. Im starting to question if it was a mistake or not." Thrax wiped his mouth, "Why is my mouth all dry..and why is your sock stuck to my face." "Cause you tried to stick your big ass foot in it" Ozzy looked around the room, There was a cereal bowl on the floor and an ash tray flipped over. He observed Thraxs face, his eyes were a puke green and he looked a little off in color. He saw a  note on the table,
"I came by to drop off these reports, but since both of you where stoned of your ass i just left it. -ROSE"
"Yo get in here!" Ozzy yelled from the kitchen. "Stop all that yellin, s'wrong witchu." "Apparently we were high on endorphins." "Wouldnt surprise me none." "How could you get me sucked into this when Im a LAW enforcer?" Ozzy felt something on the back of his neck, "Whats this?" "A rat tail" Thrax commented. Ozzy rolled his eyes, "Seeing as YOU ate all th cereal, I have to go out and get more. You stay here." He pulled on his coat, and left. Thrax just flopped on the couch and watched some TV eventually dozing off.
30 minutes later.
Thrax opened his eyes, "What time is it? >.> I gotta take a leak.. " He got up and waddled to the bathroom. "This bathroom is kinda small" He said to himself. He flushed, washed his hands and sat back down on the couch. He noticed his fly was undone. He tried to zip it but it got caught in his boxers. "Oh come on.." He pulled harder, "What the heck is wrong with this thing?" He started pulling even harder and finally got it, "YES!" . "Yo Im home with- ohh my gooood..." Ozzy dropped the  cereal on the floor. "What?" Thrax looked down, "No..no no it wasnt what it looked like I was just-" Ozzy covered his ears, "LALALA DONT WANNA HEAR IT, LALALA." "A man cant zip his pants in his own pants?" The virus  grumbled. "LALALAL -say what?" Ozzy stopped in his tracks. "Yea, my zipper got stuck. Unlike you I wear pants. not that weird stretchy membrane." "Yea yea I was just zipping my zipper, I DONE HEARD IT ALL!" "I aint got time for this", Thrax retreated to his room, observing the place "This place is a mess" Ozzy started banging on his door, "YO IF YOU'RE NOT GETTING OFF I WANT MY SOCK BACK!" He just rolled his eyes, "Its unlocked. Besides I wouldnt do that..Thats what Rose is for" Thrax grinned. Ozzy shrugged it off and searched for his sock, "Why is it ripped?" "Beats me man, you leave your stuff any kind of way." Jones looked at it closer, "You must have tried to stick your big ass foot in it!" "The bigger the foot the bigger the-" "SHUT. IT. UP" "Damn, you're all uptight." Thrax commented. "Im NOT uptight, I just dont wanna hear about your appendages" "You could say that." Ozzy smacked his forehead, "You're impossible, Im gonna go call Rose.. Hey it's me, I saw the files on the table." "Oh no problem, besides I needed a laugh. Seeing you and Thrax loose as a goose really made my day." she giggled over the phone."Loose as a goose?" "Yes, problem?" "Uhhh" "Well I'm coming over later to hang out, do you mind if I bring a friend?" Ozzy let fantasies run through his head, "Uhh sure, why not the more the merrier." "Thanks Officer, look I gotta go. See you later!" She hung up immediately. "Yo Thrax! Rose is coming over and shes bringing a friend!" Ozzy yelled through the house. "Must you yell through the house like a banshee?" He said rubbing his temples. "That wasn't a banshee, this is a banchee!" and with that Ozzy let out a plasma curdling scream. The virus just narrowed his eyes, "cute..So who's the friend?" "She didnt say" he said with a smile. "Oh uh uh, there are NO threesomes going on in here!...Unless I'm in it." "It wouldntve been that way man, keep your pants on." "Well Im going to shower, I touched your sock, dont know where its been. Gotta get this off of me one way or another too" Thrax said brushing residue off his shirt.
~45 min later~
The door bell rang and Ozzy hopped up to get it, hoping to see the friend she came with. "Oh hey girl!" He smiled at them. "Hey this is my friend Dylan. I think you knew her from the station." "Oh yeaaaaa, whats up?" "Oh nothing much, just hanging out for the night" Dylan replied fitzing with her hair. Thrax walked into the living room still in a towel, "If you valued your life you'd keep your junk out of my room and-" he stopped when he saw Dylan. Dylan's face got beet red trying not to make too much eye contact. "Uh...hey" Thrax tried to break the awkward. "Hey?" she cleared her throat. "Im just gonna.." "Yea.." She turned to Rose giggling. Ozzy offered them a seat, "So uh, whats up with yall today?" "Nothing, same old.: Rose said propping her feet up. "A scab on the elbow actually." Dylan added. Thrax peeked around the corner, put on his confident face and strutted out, "Hey Dylila.." She stood up, "Thrax." "What brings you here?" "Oh just hanging with Rose." He glanced at her with her feet all over the coffee table, "Isee..Well, would you like anything? Water, a snack, anything?" His voice broke a bit. "No thank you." Dylan examined his face a little more, "Are you ok? Your features look a little muted." Thraxs eyes widened, "OH! No no I'm fine..just a long day." "Care to tell me?" "Oh just...working..nothing special.." He rubbed the back of his neck kind of nervously. Ozzy whispered to Rose, "Maybe we should leave those two alone." Rose grabbed his wrist and lead him to the kitchen giggling.
Thrax looked at them sideways, "Wanna sit?" "Thanks" Dylan looked around, "Lovely house." "Thanks...well you know how it is. Virus." "Well how was your day?" Thraxs mind started to race, 'shes a cop! I cant tell her about the endorphins!' "Just working out." "Really?" She raised a brow, "can I see?" He began to smile, "Sure." He slipped off his coat. Dylan began to blush, "You I had to work out quite a bit to get into the force." Thrax put back on his jacket, "Really? How much do you bench?" "Last time I checked.110 to..140? Im sure its lower now. Thats to subdue crazy people and that hasnt happened yet." "Wow..you're a tough girl." She smiled, "You're really too kind." "Really? Most people say otherwise. Think Im the spawn of demons." "Demons?" "Yea like the under world..." "Im not sure I'm following you." "It's like...when a cell dies where does it go?" "Well it passes." "Its like that..sorta. I take it as a compliment, but seeing as its coming from you its ok." "I dont see why people say that, you're pretty cool." Thrax raked his hair out of his face, "So how do you like it in the office?" "We;; we see germs and trespassers alike. Some virus' here and there but the last virus we took in was well...you. How is it being a virus? Like what are your symptoms?" "Well I start off like a "common cold" Then I take the prize, the body heats up like a side walk on a summers day." "Really seems like you enjoy it..Sounds interesting." "Well I could show you some stuff." "Like?" "Something like this." He heated up his claw in front of her face. "How did you do that!" "I dont know, been doing it since I was a kid. I can also do a lot of dislocating" He stood up and dislocated his shoulder and cracked his spine. "HOW DO YOU DO THAT!" she gasped. "You have to be flexible to fit into places."
"I can certainly see how it would be useful. I hope Im not stepping on any toes for asking but, whats so great about doing this? Why do you like it so much?" Dylan asked quite intrigued. "Well...I dont know actually. I just like it, gives me a rush you know? Something Ive been doing my whole life." He explained. "Arent you proud of it?" "Baby i am proud, its just, now that I cant do it anymore its like well now what?" He threw his hands up, "Id flaunt it all over Frank if I could." "Im all fro freedom and non judgement..so why dont you?" "Id be thrown out and killed so fast itll make your head spin." Dylan took off her glasses to clean them, "I see." Ozzy peeked his head in the living room, "You two want anything?" "No thank you" Dylan answered softly. "No...go." Thrax jerked his head towards the kitchen. Ozzy put his hands up in surrender, "Fine, fine, I swear I cant be nice nowadays." He retreated to the kitchen. "So..." Dylan started. "So..." Thrax responded. Dylan coughed a bit, "Im sorry but what is that horrid smell? I always smell it when a guy comes in for stealing or dealing endorphins." "Uh I dont smell anything." Thrax looked around nervously. "Must be from work, all that stress can get to you." "Well..How about I take care of that." The virus sai with a grin. "OH I DO NOT-!" Dylan gasped. Thrax motioned for her to turn around and started rubbing her shoulders. "What are you-  oh my.." Dylan breathed. Thrax just chuckled. "That does feel quite nice." Thanks..I guess." "You know you arent that bad, actually pretty nice." That word echoed in Thraxs head. He never really liked being called nice, because he was many things, but nice wasnt one of them. "Nice?" "Yes, your not as bad as people make you out to be." I see... Its interesting you think that." She turned to face him. "Im..not nice." "Well of course you are, yo-" Im a jack ass. Im rude, Im frankly angry 90 percent of the time, Im not nice." She noticed his claw dimly glowing, "Are you ok!?" "Thrilled" He put his arm over the couch so it would burn anything. "Ive said something to offend you havent I?" "Well..i hate to break it to you, but im not nice. I hate nice. I eat nice for breakfast. Im a deadly virus baby, and I aint and never will change. I love the pain of others, I love killing and blood shed. Thats just how i am. " Dylans eyes were as big as saucers, "Well..Im so sorry I didnt mean-"  I guess it ok."
"Yo DYl we gotta go, lunch break is almost over." Rose said gathering her things. "Thrax?" Dylan turned to him. "Well..bye." He muttered. He wasnt mad at her, he just hated being called nice. He walked her to the door. "I thought you werent nice" Dylan whispered. "Nice..no. Being a heartless animal..yes. But being rude to a lady? Never. See you later." he winked at her. Dylan found herself tripping over the porch steps. Rose and Dylan get into the car and sped off. Rose glanced over at Dylan, "Well looks like someone had a good time." she snickered. "Oh Rose he is just amazing! Hes actually sweet and nice and-" Rose slammed on the breaks almost causing a blood clot, SWEET? NICE? He didnt choke you did he?!" "Well no..I-" "Dont ever call that ma nice, he's the furthest thing from. Nice in the bed, decent in public, ass hole to everyone, but overall nice? Better be glad he didnt skin you alive." "Oh he's not that bad." Dylan scoffed. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into." She warned. "Relax, Im not a kid. I can take care of it."